Post by Kelley on Dec 21, 2004 7:20:32 GMT 9.5
After your humans give you a bath, don't let them towel dry you. Humans love the exercise of trying to catch you. Instead, run to their bed, jump up and dry yourself off on the sheets.
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When the humans come home, put your ears back, tail between your legs, chin down and act as if you have done something really bad. Act like a convicted criminal. Then, watch as the humans frantically search the house for the damage they think you have caused. (Note: This only works when you have done absolutely nothing wrong.)
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Make your humans learn to be patient. When you go outside to do your business, sniff around the entire yard or up and down the entire block as your humans wait. Act as if the spot you choose to go will ultimately decide the fate of the earth.
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Humans love to be the center of attention. When out for a walk always pick the busiest, most visible spot to do your thing. Take your time and make sure lots of other people are watching. This works particularly well if your humans have forgotten to bring a plastic bag.
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When out for a walk, alternate between choking and coughing every time a strange human walks by. Pretend your collar is too tight and you are sick. This is always good for a laugh.
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Don't always bring back the stick when playing fetch with the humans. Make them go and chase it once in a while. Humans like to chase sticks too!
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Play hide and seek with your humans. When your humans come home, don't greet them at the door. Instead, hide from them, and make them think something terrible has happened to you. Don't reappear until at least one of your humans is panic-stricken and close to tears.
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When your human calls you to come back in, always take your time. Walk as slowly as possible back to the door. Make sure everything outside is just as it should be before going in.
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Let the humans teach you a brand new trick. Learn it perfectly. Then the humans try to demonstrate it to someone else, stare blankly back at the humans. Pretend you have no idea what they're talking about.
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When the humans come home, put your ears back, tail between your legs, chin down and act as if you have done something really bad. Act like a convicted criminal. Then, watch as the humans frantically search the house for the damage they think you have caused. (Note: This only works when you have done absolutely nothing wrong.)
***********************************
Make your humans learn to be patient. When you go outside to do your business, sniff around the entire yard or up and down the entire block as your humans wait. Act as if the spot you choose to go will ultimately decide the fate of the earth.
***********************************
Humans love to be the center of attention. When out for a walk always pick the busiest, most visible spot to do your thing. Take your time and make sure lots of other people are watching. This works particularly well if your humans have forgotten to bring a plastic bag.
***********************************
When out for a walk, alternate between choking and coughing every time a strange human walks by. Pretend your collar is too tight and you are sick. This is always good for a laugh.
***********************************
Don't always bring back the stick when playing fetch with the humans. Make them go and chase it once in a while. Humans like to chase sticks too!
***********************************
Play hide and seek with your humans. When your humans come home, don't greet them at the door. Instead, hide from them, and make them think something terrible has happened to you. Don't reappear until at least one of your humans is panic-stricken and close to tears.
***********************************
When your human calls you to come back in, always take your time. Walk as slowly as possible back to the door. Make sure everything outside is just as it should be before going in.
***********************************
Let the humans teach you a brand new trick. Learn it perfectly. Then the humans try to demonstrate it to someone else, stare blankly back at the humans. Pretend you have no idea what they're talking about.
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